Anyone thirsty?

Do you want to re-live the 80s but don't have enough money for the drugs? Is Red Bull just not giving you the energy you need? Try Cocaine!

No, not that cocaine. Cocaine--the legal drink. It claims to be 350 percent stronger than Red Bull and other energy drinks, and the effects last for five hours.

Side effects may include: Nose bleeds, chewing of inner lip, memory loss, weight loss and friendship with Kate Moss. If any of these symptoms last for three days or more, call your doctor.