SeriouslyGuys to vote Hillary '08

This blog is hesitant to throw around its sweeping political influence, especially this early. However, Janet Jackson announced that she supports Hillary Clinton for President of these here United States of America.

The Jacksons, who have no political aspirations because they couldn't get elected without killing Little Michael, have always been our moral compas.

We frowned on numbers and letters (tools of the devil!) until 1970, when the Jackson 5 released "ABC." Now look at us!

We refused to masturbate (activity of the devil!) until Little Michael (all grownsed-up) released his 1983 hit, "Beat It." "Beat It" also taught us that Eddie Van Halen is not mortal.

That same year, we finally embraced zombies when we saw the video for "Thriller." Now we dance with zombies and bite our girlfriends.

We finally embraced other races and ethnicities in 1991 when Michael took one for the team and became a white girl. Speaking of which, isn't it a little curious that the Jackson 5 disappeared?

We finally conceded that breasts are okay in 2004 when Janet Jackson bared one to Super Bowl viewers in an attempt to feed Justin Timberlake. Well, the Go-Daddy.com girl helped (who will soon host www.seriouslyguys.com!).

And now, here we are in 2006. If the Jacksons support Hillary, then so do The Guys. Seriously.