Mayor is tough on crime

Are you bored by politics? Do you feel the urge to not vote in any given election? Then you're a terrible person, but you're also nearly two-thirds of Americans. Here's something to get you excited about politics: Matthew Godfrey, mayor of a town in Utah and full-time oompa loompa, is five-foot-six and weighs 136 lbs.

However, that didn't stop him from running down and wrestling a man who allegedly broke into his home and stole a bicycle. He kept the man in a headlock until police arrived. Also, he flexed for the crowd and rambled into a microphone about how tough he was.

This is how are politicians should be chosen. We need to revert back to our ancient political roots: whoever beats up the competition is chief. Matt Godfrey, you have this blog's vote.