From the SeriouslyGuys Vault: August 8

Saturday, August 8, 1863

Lee proves yeller

CSA President Jefferson Davis rejected a resignation letter from General Robert E. Lee today. Lee's attempted resignation follows a swift kick in the butterknot by Union forces at Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.

The war, which was projected to end two years ago, is projected by Davis to end "any day now," provided no more generals "turn sissy."


Tuesday, August 8, 1911

SG premiers "flogs"

Seriously Gentlemen is proud to unveil a new feature: the flog, or Film Log. As Americans can now get their news from the flickers alongside moving images of women in bathing suits and crude cartoons, we can also poke lively jests at the new media.

It is worth noting, however, that theater piano players have difficulty conveying the grave tones of our world's current events.


Wednesday, August 8, 1945

Stalin quits stallin'

After four years of Pacific island-hopping with minimal allies, the Reds have finally joined the fight against the Japanese horde in Manchuria, China. Considering we've already dropped the Big One on Hiroshima, the Ruskies look like a gaggle of Johnny Comelatelies.

What do they think? That the Chinese are gonna embrace Communism? Ha!

SeriouslyGIs reminds you to do your part and continue buying war bonds: every bit keeps our boys supplied.