The McBournie Minute: Karaoke

Over the weekend I was at a Christmas party. After the booze and food had been made available to everyone for quite some time. The DJ turned over the musical reins to the people--it was time for karaoke. The first guy who went up was damn near terrible. In front of his whole office he made a fool of himself. "Karma Chameleon" has never more sounded like Culture Club was on downers.

It made me realize, there should be rules for karaoke, and here they are:

Rule #1: Never sing alone. If you sing in a group and it sounds bad, you can just blame it on everyone else. You're the one who knows how to sing, it's not your fault. At the very least, you can share the blame.

Rule #2: If you are heterosexual, don't sing a song that isn't. Also, if you're a guy, don't sing songs normally sung by women. You will be sending mixed messages. Not to mention, you are leaving yourself open to blackmail with everyone carrying video cameras on their phones.

Rule #3: Don't sing around a group of people you know. If you must sing karaoke, do it in a bar full of people you don't know and don't know you. Sure, you may feel more comfortable with a room full of friends, family or coworkers, but you will regret it. The fewer people you know, the fewer people who will remind you about it tomorrow when you're dealing with your hangover.