Please let this end in blood

Godzilla versus Mothra
Frankenstein versus the Wolfman
Santa Claus versus the Martians

All of those are triffling compared to what will be dubbed The Battle of the Bulge, 2006.

Fun Quotes:

"'I'm worth billions of dollars, and I have to listen to this fat slob?' Trump said."

"'He's the moral authority,' O'Donnell said, after flipping her hair to mimic Trump's famous combover. 'Left the first wife--had an affair. Left the second wife--had an affair ... But he's the moral compass for 20-year-olds in America. Donald, sit and spin, my friend!'"

"'I look forward to taking lots of money from my nice fat little Rosie,' Trump said."

"'He's gonna sue me, but he'll be bankrupt by that time,' O'Donnell said."

"'When I saw the tape, I said, "You'd better be careful or I'll send one of my friends over to take your girlfriend!"' Trump told The News. 'I imagine it would be pretty easy to take her girlfriend away, considering how Rosie looks.'"

Here's hoping this ends well for all of us.