Cinema Grande

And now, a very special MasterChugs Theater.

I've always wanted to say that.

2006 was a good year for movies. It wasn't great, much less horrifyingly controversial, but it wasn't horrible either. We saw Pan's Labyrinth (well, technically, some did), Little Miss Sunshine, Babel, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest and An Inconvenient Truth hit theaters, wowing us with visual effects, thought provoking concepts and stimulating us with dynamic writing. We also saw Cars, The Devil Wears Prada, XIII, Blood Diamond and Norbit ... and for those of you that actually saw that last one, shame on you. You know better than to support Eddie Murphy's transvestite hooker acting problem. With all that said, it's time to take a glance at a few of this year's nominees. Let the opinionating begin!

Best Performance by an actor in a leading role

Leonardo DiCaprio showed us that he too can channel the spirit of Halle Berry and go from being part of a great movie (see The Aviator and The Departed) to leading a horrible movie (Blood Diamond), all while having an accent worse than a Welshman. Now that's versatility! I'm absolutely beside myself in happiness that Forest Whitaker has finally gotten a nomination for best lead actor in The Last King of Scotland ... but the Academy doesn't like black people. Peter O'Toole is the rightful winner for his role in Venus as an aging journeyman actor, tugging at the audience's heart strings in a way that Will Smith just couldn't fully accomplish in The Pursuit of Happyness. His only real competition? Ryan Gosling's crack addicted middle school teacher in Half Nelson, but seeing as how academy awards aren't given to drug addict (roles), O'Toole should win this.

Best Performance by an actress in a leading role

Do I really need to make any mention of Meryl Streep or The Devil Wears Prada outside of mentioning that which falls out of a horse's rectum? That's what I thought. With that out of the way, let's take a look at the proper candidates for the award. I haven't seen Volver (pronounced 'Vole-vare', as in the Spanish verb, not part of the word 'revolver'), though I'm not sure how many people actually have. Little Children was delightfully dark and wonderful, but Kate Winslet has two things going against her: 1) it was the movie that stole the show, not her role in it, and 2) she's not old, which leads into the final two nominations. Dame Judi Dench was absolutely amazing in Notes on a Scandal, easily putting in the performance of her lifetime in the movie. Helen Mirren was good in The Queen. Not great, just ... good. Sadly, I've got a bad feeling that the Academy will feel otherwise and end up giving Mirren the award, something that Dench truly deserves. Yet another scandal!

Best animated feature film

I didn't like Cars. I didn't like Happy Feet. Monster House made me chuckle. Cars will probably win it though. There, now will someone make me my feature length CGI Thundercats: The Movie already?

Best motion picture

Ah, the créme de la créme. Let's make this easy: The Queen was underachieving. Letters from Iwo Jima could have been better and felt almost a few years too late. The Departed and Little Miss Sunshine were terrific movies. The Departed may be one of Scorsese's best films of all time, and Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris prove in Little Miss Sunshine that it's OK to be music video directors when you're awesome directors. Both had all star casts and were simply marvels to watch; however, Babel was astounding. Everything about the movie, from the story, to the acting, the direction and even the cinematography shone through like a beacon of light in darkness. Too cheesy? How about a Mag-lite when the power goes out? Still not better? Too bad. Babel brought us a raw view of prejudice (in a way that Crash could only wish that it could have done), emotively gripping you with scenes of socioeconomic, racial and cultural differences. Hands down, Babel was the best picture of the year, no argument whatsoever.

And that closes the 2007 edition of my picks for the Oscars. I still didn't cover them all, but that's OK, the home version of the game can be anyway that you'd like it to be. Except, this year's version will be Three 6 Mafia-less. Why oh why must fate be so cruel!!!!????!!!!