Good news and bad news

Good news: Taco Bell and KFC are apparently trying to go healthy. They've now been downgraded from "toxic sludge" to "poison". Plus, healthier severed fingers and rats!

Bad news: Now if you eat at either of the two places, you'll be living less dangerously. And chicks love danger. As such, the more you eat at Taco Bell or KFC, the less chance that you'll have for picking up a lady.

Well, OK, maybe some things never really change.