Kidz Korner: Books after 'Harry Potter'
The last Harry Potter book comes out on July 21, which means that you'll never have to read another book again .... Or does it?
There are plenty of other supercool fantasy series to read after Harry Potter presumably dies at the hands of superior wizard, Volde-whatever. They may not take place at Hogwarts, but they're just as magical.
1) The complete works of Jackie Collins. You've had your fun as a wizard-in-training. Now live out your next set of fantasies as a sexy Hollywood executive, sexy lawfirm partner or even a sexy pool boy/girl. Just like wizardry, not everyone can be magical or sexy, but it's fun to pretend.
2) Fan fiction. Only a mouse-click away, you can read the shallow attempts of others to insert themselves into prominent roles in your favorite nerdiverses. And if you read enough, then you, too, can write yourself saving the crew of the USS Enterprise by reversing the polarity on the coffeemaker or mouth-to-mouth resuscitating an unconscious Hermione Granger.
3) The Chronicles of Narnia. It's a magical world with heroic kids and has movies to watch as you get older and lazier. Best yet, it's full of Christian allegory, so you can save your soul after filling it with witchcraft and goblin-banking. WWJR? These books, of course.
4) The Bible. If the allegories in Narnia don't cut it for you, then go right to the teat for the greatest-selling fantasy story of all time. Just like Harry Potter, there are giants, villains that can turn into snakes, bearded wizards with magical staffs, ghosts (angels), and a plucky young hero that performs magic. Just a warning: it gets a little preachy.
5) The complete works of Anne Coulter. You, too, can pretend there's a mass conspiracy against American values. Unlike the imaginary battle with evil magicians, this is a war that never has to end because there will always be new things to complain about. If J.K. Rowling taught you how to be a wizard, Coulter will teach you how to be a witch.
As you can see, the fantasy never has to end! Get to a library (it's a big building with free books and no sorting hats) and start exploring new wor(l)ds July 22. It lets the dogs out!
There are plenty of other supercool fantasy series to read after Harry Potter presumably dies at the hands of superior wizard, Volde-whatever. They may not take place at Hogwarts, but they're just as magical.
1) The complete works of Jackie Collins. You've had your fun as a wizard-in-training. Now live out your next set of fantasies as a sexy Hollywood executive, sexy lawfirm partner or even a sexy pool boy/girl. Just like wizardry, not everyone can be magical or sexy, but it's fun to pretend.
2) Fan fiction. Only a mouse-click away, you can read the shallow attempts of others to insert themselves into prominent roles in your favorite nerdiverses. And if you read enough, then you, too, can write yourself saving the crew of the USS Enterprise by reversing the polarity on the coffeemaker or mouth-to-mouth resuscitating an unconscious Hermione Granger.
3) The Chronicles of Narnia. It's a magical world with heroic kids and has movies to watch as you get older and lazier. Best yet, it's full of Christian allegory, so you can save your soul after filling it with witchcraft and goblin-banking. WWJR? These books, of course.
4) The Bible. If the allegories in Narnia don't cut it for you, then go right to the teat for the greatest-selling fantasy story of all time. Just like Harry Potter, there are giants, villains that can turn into snakes, bearded wizards with magical staffs, ghosts (angels), and a plucky young hero that performs magic. Just a warning: it gets a little preachy.
5) The complete works of Anne Coulter. You, too, can pretend there's a mass conspiracy against American values. Unlike the imaginary battle with evil magicians, this is a war that never has to end because there will always be new things to complain about. If J.K. Rowling taught you how to be a wizard, Coulter will teach you how to be a witch.
As you can see, the fantasy never has to end! Get to a library (it's a big building with free books and no sorting hats) and start exploring new wor(l)ds July 22. It lets the dogs out!
Labels: Kidz Korner
posted by Rick Snee at
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