The McBournie Minute: Speedos

Welcome back. I know you didn't actually go anywhere, but I did, so it felt like you went away. I missed you so.

I spent all of last week enjoying the beach and the sun in Ogunquit, Maine. As many of you may know, Maine is a state that borders Canada, which I suspect is a foreign country. This meant I was surrounded by not only American tourists like myself, but those of the Canadian variety.

Though they reside only a matter of miles from the United States, they clearly have different views on appropriate swimming attire. I am speaking, of course, about banana hammocks. Everyone I saw wearing one of these skimpy man-bikinis was either saying "eh" or speaking French.

I don't care what one does behind closed doors, if you're into wearing that, go right ahead, but bringing that out into a public forum for non-comedic purposes is unacceptable. Not only do guys like me hate seeing it, but I am fairly sure women don't like it either. Perhaps it's not the women or the heterosexual guys they are trying to impress.

At one point, I saw an Ogunquit police officer on the beach writing a Canadian a ticket. I hope it was for two counts of squash smuggling.