Have you had your ARRRRRR today?

Pirate attacks may be up and all, but there's just one problem--these guys just lack the dramatic flair for the job. I mean, sure, they've got the STD, skin conditions, and lack of teeth stuff down to a fine art, but the language? It's just not there.

That's why I say to all our readers out there, fight global warming and show these "pirates" how real pirates act! ARRRRRRRR!