The 180 proof is in the survey

Good morning, everyone. While you're finishing your first glass of whiskey, we have some startling news for you, and probably untrue, for that matter. More than 30 percent of Americans say they have had problems with alcohol.

Now, drink your chaser, American. It's time to realize something brutally important: your neighbor is probably one of these people. Go over there and hold an intervention. Better yet, take the guy's booze away from him. That will keep him safe.