Panda jerk

Pandas. They're cute and cuddly, and their complacency in War on Animals comes in the form of their reluctance to mate in captivity. Perhaps we should consider these self-hating animals our allies. After all, scientists say those black circles around their eyes are most likely caused by staying up all night crying and wallowing in shame.

But wait just one minute. The emoest of the animal kingdom could just be lulling us into a false sense of security. Take Jinzhu the panda, for example. She passed herself off as a male for a long time, only to one day be outed as a female and later give birth to cubs.

These pandas are dangerous. They are like the Terminators. They try to pass themselves off as one thing and gain our trust, then they betray us as soon as possible.