Great moments in law enforcement

The police are hot on the trail of whoever is stealing toilet paper from the Fond du Lac County Government Center in Wisconsin. The rolls are disappearing at a rate of six per week. How will county officials be able to cleanse their buttocks after dropping the kids' funding off at the public pool?

Note to SG readers who may or may not be involved in this: If you guys are planning some massive prank, we want in.