The McBournie Minute: Television shows

The new fall seasons of network television are underway. It's true, the big networks have rolled out their line-ups, promising to take us to new heights, leaving us to find out on our own that it's just the same old crap.

I estimate 99.47 percent of prime time network programming this fall (not counting sports or news) falls into four groups:

Doc dramas. Yes, it's a life and death situation every single day in the hospital, and somehow the doctors have time to not only form their own cliques, but to hold private conversations while removing a man from a pole that has run him through (I'm told this is extremely common at hospitals, particularly in countries where pole vaulting is popular). Do not resuscitate orders: ER, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice and House. Scrubs gets a reprieve, because it's not really a drama and it's entertaining.

Police shows. We get it. There's a lot of crime out there and the cops who fight it are kind of messed up, too. How many times do we have to find a dead body in Central Park before we can finally cancel one or all of the Law & Orders (Laws & Orders, perhaps)? Don't get me wrong, I'm all for escaping the senseless violence of the local news for some SCRIPTED senseless violence, but enough is enough. Up on the execution block: L&Os, CSIs, NCIS, K-ville, Bones, Numb3rs, Shark, Boston Legal, Cold Case, Criminal Minds and Grey's Anatomy. Did I miss any? It's so tough to keep all of them straight.

Situation comedies. Hey, I've got a great pilot script here. It's about a fat man, his improbably hot wife, and how they interact with their in-laws and friends. No one's ever done that before, right? There are too many to name, so I'll go for the most dysfunctional: According to Jim, Cavemen, Two and a Half Men, How I Met Your Mother, 'Til Death and of course, Grey's Anatomy.

Superheroes. This is a relatively new category. There has always been a sci-fi show here or there like Lost or one of the many shows where women talk to dead people, but after last season's dork dark horse winner Heroes, the networks took noticed and are cramming more superheroes down our superhero throats. Don't believe me? Powers weakening: New Amsterdam, Bionic Woman, Journeyman, Pushing Daisies, Chuck and, wait for it, wait for it, Grey's Anatomy.

I'm not saying you're a bad person for liking any of these shows (except Grey's Anatomy), but look at how much of the same they pile on year after year. And me without Showtime.