Sit, Sibu, sit

Orangutans (not "orangutangs") have just jumped to the top of the list of animal threats to the human race. Sure, they can be cute and disarming, but they are also hellbent on taking our women!

Sibu the orangutan, a detainee currently being held at the Apenheul Ape Park in the Netherlands, will not mate with female on conjugal visits. Instead, he shows an interest in blonde, tattooed park employees, and yes, they are human.

While this blog is perfectly happy with animals not wishing to reproduce (thanks, pandas!), but they CANNOT have our women! I won't even go into the opposite scenario.