MasterChugs Theater: 'Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End'

First and foremost: I'm going to try to keep this review as spoiler free as possible. Wish me luck in that venture. For those that don't want any spoilers in the review, you might want to skiddaddle somewhere, just in case.

Batten down your hatches for swashbuckling mayhem in Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End (or Pirates 3 for purposes of brevity), a film that delivers everything an audience expects with a few surprises. Filmmakers present plenty of treasure for the audiences with some minor lulls (like characters choosing up sides for one confusing example) on its 168 minute course; however, it should be noted that all too often, the unnecessarily convoluted and confusing storyline keeps Pirates 3 idling in the cinematic equivalent of the doldrums.

Picking up where Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest trailed off, with zero in the way of a recap to bring the uninitiated up to speed, Ted Elliott and Terry Rossio's screenplay finds resurrected Captain Barbossa (Geoffrey Rush), swashbuckling Will Turner (Orlando Bloom), and plucky heroine Elizabeth Swann (Keira Knightley) charting a course for Davy Jones' Locker to rescue Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp). Driven more by mercenary concerns than altruism, Barbossa, Will and Elizabeth need Jack's help in bringing together the Nine Lords of the Brethren Court. Only this squabbling, international coalition of pirate kings from the seven seas can stand up to mighty fleet of the East India Company, which is determined to end the Age of Piracy. Under the tyrannical command of pint-sized despot Lord Cutler Beckett (Tom Hollander), the East India Company fleet has a supernatural weapon in its arsenal: Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) at the helm of The Flying Dutchman.

Pirates 3 proves just how important Captain Barbossa is to this franchise. We’ve all spent so much time fawning over Depp, that Geoffrey Rush’s consistently brilliant performance as the growling Barbossa has been almost completely overlooked. But Captain Barbossa is, and always has been the only real pirate in these movies. Sparrow is a clown, a wannabe-rock-star turned pirate. Barbossa is a mean, bitter, robbing and killing, leader of men sonofabitch. I don’t mean to demean what Depp does, the character of Jack Sparrow is brilliant, but he works better when Barbossa is there to lend the movie gravitas while Depp prances around the deck like a puppet with his strings cut. Without Barbossa, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest felt lost, light-headed, and silly. With Rush back in for an entire movie, Pirates 3 is able to survive the script problems that weighed the previous movie down with great character chemistry.

Chemistry problems solved, the returning cast is able to hold the movie’s poorly written non-action scenes together through sheer force of will, making it easier to simply sit back and enjoy the cannon fire when it happens. There may not be as much of it in At World’s End as in the second movie, but what’s there is more satisfying. Sword fights and rope swings and broadsides are back front and center. Gone is the underwater beastie that terrorized the second film like the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man stomping New York, and in its place is swashbuckling and gunfire. The wind howls and the ships rock, and while Pirates 3 intentionally passes up an opportunities for even bigger, ship on ship action, it’s fun as a purely action experience.

The budget bought some remarkable imagery: the Black Pearl sailing an ocean of sand; an aerial view of a boat sailing through starfields; an underworld of doldrums full of despondent ghosts; and the awe-inspiring return of the goddess Calypso to the ocean. A couple of action sequences—including the intentional capsizing of a ship by its crew—achieve a certain mad brilliance. In the pandemonium of the pirates' climactic war for independence, you'll witness one of the big screen's most ludicrous love scenes. And the ships rock and roll to Hans Zimmer's score, which is as stirring as a storm at sea. The special effects are on par with last year's spectacular Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest. (It's a shame that such life-like action feel so heart-less.) And the greatest special effect in the entire series isn't a special effect at all: It's Keith Richards's impossibly fantastic face. Yes, that's the Rolling Stones axe-swinger himself--the true inspiration for Depp's Jack Sparrow--playing a gravel-voiced veteran of the high seas.

In all, I was entertained. Could Pirates Of The Caribbean: At World’s End have been a much better movie? Yes. Were there still questions about the plot that went unanswered as I left the theater? Yes. Did the movie seem long at a three-hour running time? Yes. Was Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse Of The Black Pearl a better movie? Yes. None of that matters in the final analysis, however. Like Spider-Man 3, there are some definite feelings of "coulda woulda shoulda," along with a lot of what feels like "audience bait and switch," but nonetheless, this film is still a popcorn cruncher of the first order. See it, and prepare to be amazed. And oh yes, make sure to stay to the end of the credits. As with the first two films in the trilogy, there is an epilogue of sorts that helps to add some dimension to the ending.