Hold on to your butts

Bad news, brave soldiers. Scientists have uncovered an almost completely preserved baby woolly mammoth in Siberia. Now they are touting their find. Obviously, this is not the bad news. There is nothing wrong with humiliating an enemy long since defeated.

Shocking quote: "While the mammoth has not yielded the kind of DNA that could be used in cloning, scientists remain optimistic.

Some believe the right find is bound to emerge from Siberia that will make cloning or resurrecting the animal--by injecting sperm into the egg of a relative such as the Asian elephant--a reality."

That's right, these madmen are really planning on CLONING this monstrosity. Our ancestors didn't banish this foe in the Ice Age just so we could bring them back! We've got to stop the scientists.