To abort or not to abort

Mitt Romney is having trouble deciding whether he is for or against killing babies:

I was prochoice. I am prolife. I never said I was prochoice, but my position was effectively prochoice. I've changed my position," [Romney] said.

Let's help him figure this out. Copy the following text to paste here:

Governor Romney:

You seemed to have trouble yesterday figuring out whether you are pro-life or pro-choice. As a service to your campaign, religious faith, and personal decision-making abilities, I will now state the obvious so you can shut the hell up and pick one.

When you are running for governor of Massachussetts, you are pro-choice because New England witches loves them some fried baby.

When you are running for President of the United States, you are pro-life, because nothing is more American than orphans working their way up from rags to riches.

And when you are done being an a--hole, you're a politician, so quit pretending it was a mistake.

Sincerely,

[Your name here]
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