SeriouslyGuys

Friday, November 16, 2007

A whiskey situation

Imagine the most horrible thing that could ever happen to humanity. Good. Now imagine that about ten times worse. That could be exactly how bad it could be if police in Tennessee have their way.

Thousands of bottles of Jack Daniel's whiskey, much of it around the century mark, could be POURED DOWN THE DRAIN by police after being seized recently. The bottles were seized in warehouse raids in Nashville and Lynchburg, but no one has been arrested. The law calls for seized bottles that cannot be sold in the country to be dumped down the drain. The whiskey must be saved!

Key quote: "'Punish the person, not the whiskey,' said an outraged Kyle MacDonald, 28, a Jack Daniel's drinker from British Columbia who promotes the whiskey on his blog. 'Jack never did anything wrong, and the whiskey itself is innocent.'"

Excellent point. Sure, whiskey has caused the premature exit of many a man's lunch, is responsible for a hazy memory or two and roughly 34 percent of the world's population today, but of this crime the booze is innocent. All it did was sit there in its bottle, as it has for decades, when someone brought it to a warehouse. Then one day police arrested the liquor and questioned it. But the whiskey, in its years of wisdom, just sat there silently pondering.

It's time for a mass protest in Tennessee. Who's with me?

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