Dr. Seuss was ahead of his time

Attention citizens of Annapolis: be on the lookout for an unusually colored pigeon flying as free as a, well, bird. That's right, everyone, a green pigeon is currently at large on the grounds of the U.S. Naval Academy.

Earlier today, we tried to warn everyone about animals getting super abilities to aid in the battle they fight against us, but it appears the warning came far too late. This pigeon more than likely gets really strong and irritable when it gets angry. At the very least, think of how stealthy it can be, hiding in foliage and then pooping its green poop on your head.

The horror.

This brave soldier lives near Annapolis, so as soon as I get off of work, I am going to storm the U.S. Naval Academy campus with a shotgun. I'm sure nothing will go wrong.