Iran War beginning with whimper, not bang

Iran is now eyeing its first military victory since the Crusades, after the French announced that they are willing to back their anti-nuke rhetoric with war.

Tehran is breathing a sigh of relief and has prepared his acceptance of France's imminent surrender.

"Thank goodness," said Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. "I was worried we'd have to deal with these guys again."