Kidz Korner: You can't have Iran, too

Hey, kidz! It's been a long time, but The Guys wanted to make sure you felt included. Remember: no adult understands you except for us.

So some of you want a new war with Iran. We can't blame you: they have crazy leaders, they're trying to build nukes and they have oil, too!

But, do you remember the last time we gave you a war? Remember Iraq? Remember how you promised to feed, water and install a functioning democracy there every day? Well, Iraq's still in the backyard and getting angry because you still haven't done those things. In fact, if you don't start living up to your part of the deal, Iraq could die.

We know, you're saying it will be different this time. Well, what about Afghanistan? You forgot about Afghanistan, too, didn't you? Sure, you started out taking care of it just fine, so we got you Iraq. Maybe two wars was too much for one kid, but you said they would be your responsibility.

Yes, we hear you. Iraq wasn't what you expected. It didn't like you very much and it didn't even come with awesome weapons of mass destruction. Yes, Iran has everything you originally wanted, but don't you realize that you have unrealistic expectations that will never be good enough? This week, it's Iran, and next week, you'll want a war somewhere else.

What do you mean? Well, what about Syria? You've had your eyes on them for a long time, too. No, Syria can't be an early birthday present.

We're sorry, honey, but you've got to appreciate what you have. Afghanistan and Iraq can be great companions if you'd just focus and put the time in. Besides, if we caved every time you wanted something, we'd be doing you a great disservice.