MasterChugs Theater: 'Monster House'

Some quick housekeeping: the Guys are taking off next week because we like turkey. Even more than the internet? Say it ain't so! We'll be back on Monday, November 26. In the meantime, do something important, like...reading a book, or bugging your family members. And alooooooooooooooong with the review:

'Monster House' is arguably the scariest movie that has ever been targeted to children. There are multiple children who will probably say to their parents, “Mommy/Daddy, I’m scared.” Luckily, the movie is also funny, sweet, and more than a little sad. The boys act like boys, the girls act like girls, and the adult figures, of course, treat the kids as if they were insane, like an animated Lemony Snicket story. And who else would be in the executive producer’s chair but Steven Spielberg, who has terrorized more children than the Devil, the boogie man and Barbra Streisand combined.

It’s only a few minutes after the departure of DJ’s parents that he kills his neighbor, old man Nebbercracker (voiced by Steve Buscemi). Nebbercracker has been terrorizing the neighborhood’s kids for generations, and he has a heart attack while engaging in a tirade against DJ (voiced by Mitchel Musso) for stepping on his lawn. Nebbercracker’s death is only the beginning of DJ’s bad day. It’s Halloween, and apparently Nebbercracker’s rickety old house isn’t pleased at DJ’s part in its owner’s death. Nebbercracker’s house is alive and angry. With his parents out of town, DJ and his friends, Chowder and Jenny, can only watch in horror as the house starts devouring neighborhood toys, pets, and eventually police officers that trod on its lawn.

Though much of the computer animation in Monster House is by today’s standards somewhat sub par, the look of the house itself is stunning; a beautiful, nightmarish dream (as opposed to the nightmares that the animation for The Polar Express created) that looks like it might have fallen right out of the head of Tim Burton. It’s a wonderfully alive, fiercely cinematic set piece; an effect so brilliantly conceived that a lesser film might have been content to rely upon merely the house’s toothy appearance as justification for the entire film’s existence.

Robert Zemeckis may have handed the directorial reins to newcomer Gil Kenan, but this is still Zemeckis’ show (he’s the other executive producer), using the same animation technique that both fascinated and disturbed viewers of 'The Polar Express.' This time, it’s the subject matter that does the disturbing; Nebbercracker’s death scene is downright freaky (it’s all in the point of view), and DJ’s subsequent nightmare sequence is not far removed from a scene in 'A Nightmare on Elm Street.' Rock-on Yikes. As a grownup, however, I lapped it all up; the movie’s sense of humor is quirky with occasional blasts of brilliance. Just wait until you hear Chowder’s answer when DJ calls and asks him where his parents are.

The climax involves our heroes deploying a huge construction crane in order to vanquish their adversary. Without referencing it too obviously, the scene hearkens back to the 1967 Hammer science-fiction film 'Quatermass and the Pit.' (A good film, if you haven't seen it; the U.S. title was 'Five Million Years to Earth.') Set around Halloween, "Monster House" manages to cull bits and pieces from Hammer, Hitchcock and the old-dark-house genre of 19th Century literature and early 20th Century stage and film. These bits and pieces manage to move quickly, without indulging in punch lines dependent on Britney Spears or Scientology. Older kids with a taste for fright will likely be interested in how the floorboards turn into big brown teeth and then back into floorboards. Viewers of all ages who survived the 2003 film version of the Disney ride known as 'The Haunted Mansion' will appreciate the improvement "Monster House" represents in the realm of old dark houses with great big secrets. I would wholeheartedly recommend the film to any parent that is getting sick of seeing zebras crossing the Atlantic in their animated features, or , for that matter, anybody in general that wants to have a fun time watching a fun movie.