We've got something to tell you:

We're here to help.

-Daniel Peter Blair, for continuing to do the act that got you stabbed after being stabbed, you should know that you have a problem.

-Women of the world, continuously objectifying we honest and wholesome men with your scandalous looks after we men get blamed for this very problem, know that you all have a problem.

-Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Malcolm Mackey, for the very same reason that you cannot ask a rainbow to stop being colorful, for ordering that a strip club cannot offer dancing sans clothing, you have a problem.

-Joseph T. Parrott, you have a problem with money. You don't want to part with it when you're legally obligated to do so. Deal with it. And your problem.

-The Traffic Department of CW11 Morning News, you have no problem at all, despite what some may say.