Alcohol: the cause of, solution to all of life's [animal-related] problems

Taking a page from American history, an Indian village (in India, not Ironyland) let rice wine do their dirty work on a herd of Asiatic elephants.

After drinking themselves into a stupor, the elephants reenacted a World Series celebration by knocking down a utility pole. Six died in the ensuing electrocution.

This approach is one of the most innovative in the global War on Animals for three reasons:

1) Circus animal trainers have proven that electricity is the natural foe of the elephant.

2) By getting the elephants drunk, they have prevented these elephants' legendary memory from remembering and learning from this event. In other words, it could work again!

3) Because the elephants drank the rice wine of their own accord, this village has a new ally in their War on Animals: MADD. That's a lot of pamphlets, people.

(Courtesy of Patrick S.)