Suffer not the unctuous

Ever wondered how you, too, can get your house egged, TPed and poo-sacked in one night? Just follow these easy steps as outlined by 700 Club flunkie, Lori D'Augostine.

Key quotes of the monster in action:

"I personally plan on dressing my children up in Biblical and God-honoring characters that will draw people to ask questions."

"Scripture Candy, the makers of Fish Mints™ contain wrappers that have scriptural text. Also, EvangeCandy,"the only candy with color-coded Gospels on every wrapper" are fun for children."