Suffer not the unctuous

Ever wondered how you, too, can get your house egged, TPed and poo-sacked in one night? Just follow these easy steps as outlined by 700 Club flunkie, Lori D'Augostine.

Key quotes of the monster in action:

"I personally plan on dressing my children up in Biblical and God-honoring characters that will draw people to ask questions."

"Scripture Candy, the makers of Fish Mints™ contain wrappers that have scriptural text. Also, EvangeCandy,"the only candy with color-coded Gospels on every wrapper" are fun for children."

Oh baby!

We here at the Guys are all for surrogate parents. But if you thought West Virginia was bad, then all of this is just borders on several lines.

We'll keep it up as long as they do

Every time this happens, porno gains a smidge more credibility. In this case, the student was her 13-year-old daughter's middle school boyfriend.

At this point, there are so many of these stories that we wonder if they're real or the newsroom equivalent of The Aristocrats.

Legal only here ... and in Mississippi

As firm believers in pre-emptive strikes, this blog wishes all mothers everywhere a happy Mothers' Day!

Especially this one.